Thursday, December 3, 2009

perfect

Everyone is perfect in every way. So why not just be nice. It is common for me to repeat the (common) wisdom first and most gently suggested to me by my dear friend AD Mannion when he was slowly dying of liver cancer: when somebody is a jerk to you, they're having a bad day. Probably they're just scared or otherwise stressed. Not being nice right then, but basically nice.
I am nice. Often I think, TOO NICE. Folks who know me will chuckle or guffaw at this. Folks who know be casually will agree. From this I deduce: better not to know me too well.
There is a dark angel in there. The Lenny Bruce fan. The Caligula fan. The man with flexible morals and priorities.
This dark man is an angel though. And so it goes. A vacillation between lovely pleasing man and butt. Stinky butt.
This past Monday night I played a show and was given the opportunity to inform the audience that I was once again surprised but pleased and honored to be there. And the boss said he was always surprised and pleased and honored to have me there.
I don't get on the bus with these folks. That would be too much. Then they would know my darkness. And worse, my silliness. I am so silly.
Moderately profound suffering has rendered me less so. But I persist in immaturity and petty self-centeredness. And I don't do enough ... um ... yoga.ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ohm