Scorpio

Our Maker made us all, in His Infinite Wisdom. But damn, did He actually make the scorpion? What was He Thinkin?
No, I know. God is all knowing without necessarily thinking, etc. etc. I love God, btw. God is Kewl.

But the scorpion! Crap. Again, I'm sure scorpions have their charm, but whenever I interact with one, it dies. Usually dies, or runs away without a tail. Because it is such a huge butt-brain!! It registers threat in every single interaction with other creatures, and then that tail starts goin' --- stingstingstingsting, missed, crap, stingstingsting. Scorpion = aggression.

So anyway, I met a fairly large brown scorpion guy today. He was trying to read the new New Yorker in the mailbox and I tried to grab it from him. Stingstingsting. I didn't realize the poor thing was there right away. He got me in my hairy belly (I wore no shirt, it's 95 out there), then on my right hand. Man, that smarts! thinks I. Then I squashed him swiftly using my right new balance shoe.

Back to God. Back to his Maker goes the little brown scorpion guy, having invested a little aggression and pain in my otherwise fairly passive and pleasant day.

I'm really glad God made me way bigger than the scorpion. Infinite wisdom. And he made me smaller than my car, so I fit in it! So Kewl.